Note To Younger Girls

  1. You are beautiful. Mama may have never told you that but I’m here to remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are unique. No one can ever be you. You may have heard this before but that’s the truth of the matter.
  2. Take time for yourself. Get to know you. No this is not selfish. It’s extremely important for your well-being.
  3. Cultivate a relationship with God. Your faith is not dependent on your mother, father or grandmother’s salvation. Get to know God for yourself. You don’t have to wait till your 30 before you start getting serious about your relationship with God.
  4. You are not going to live in your parent’s house forever. One day, you’ll move out. So while you are living with your parents, make the most out of your time.
  5. Learn to cook. It’s not everyday ramen noodles. When your mom is cooking, try to watch her and ask questions. Learn from her. Cooking is art. Learn from others and add their tips to your cooking. These days, people showcase their cooking on youtube. You can learn from there. Stop getting upset when your asked to do your chores. It will help you one day in life. When you go to college and meet people who don’t clean or even brush their teeth, you’ll thank your mother for raising you.
  6. Learn from others. When you don’t understand something, ask questions.
  7. Friends come and go. At a young age, it’s so tough to understand. You’ll get upset and frustrated but later on you’ll realize it. Surround yourself with postive, likeminded people. You are who you attract. If you like drama, people who love drama, will be attracted to you. Know your friends. It’s not everyone you meet, you automatically give them the spare keys to your house. In the same way, you shouldn’t consider everyone you meet your friends. Know the difference between associates and friends. In order for one to be a good friend to you, you must learn to be one too. There is a season for everything. Understanding that there is a purpose to every encounter is key. Those who are meant to be a part of your life will be there. Don’t try to maintain friendships/relationships with people who make it apparent that they don’t want your friendship.
  8. Know your value. The way you are raised plays a role in how you behave/view things later on in life.
  9. Set goals for yourself but don’t forget to include God in your plans.
  10. Life is a journey. Be open to new adventures in life. Continue to learn from others. Don’t be hard on yourself. Try not to compare yourself with others. No one is perfect. It’s not everything you see in movies, or social media that is true. Most of the things your see are just highlights of one’s life. You don’t know what people are going through behind close doors. Appreciate the people that God has placed in your life. Make the most out of each day you are blessed to see. Live, laugh, love smile while you can. Life is what you make it 🙂
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Lessons Learned (Calling/Texting)

....forgive my yearning to know, to share & understand....  I'm not angry.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that your absence is not about me.         I am on my own.    I have to remind myself that loving you right now, means shutting the fuck up...& blessing you on your own path.         Peace, my love..

We have all at some point in our lives text someone and not received a response. To be honest, this can get annoying after a while and makes us not want to text that person again. Even though this can become frustrating, here are some things I have personally learned about texting that can probably help you in understanding why you shouldn’t give up so quickly on those who don’t text you.

  1. Everyone’s form of communication is different. As much as you might want someone to respond to your text, it is also essential for you to know what communication method works best for that person.
  2. Some people prefer calling than texting and vice versa. For some people, texting requires too much effort so calling them is the way to go.
  3. “I’m not a texting or phone person”. I’m sure you have come in contact with someone who has stated this phrase. It is a lie. This person needs to get it together. If that’s the case why does that person have a phone? In the generation that we are living in, we can’t meet up all the time. We all have things to do. Social media can’t be the way for one to communicate at all times. In this case, you have to find what works for both ends.
  4. Some people think they have responded and in reality they haven’t. Before they realize a week or even a month has passed on by. Maybe the person you are trying to reach is not in the country or have traveled. Not everyone informs people when they are traveling so in that case there’s nothing you can do.
  5. When people are going through their own situations, they don’t want anything to do with anyone. So this could mean no picking up phone calls or answering text messages.
  6. People choose who they want to respond to and when they want to return someone’s text or call. Understand that everyone’s mentality is different. Yes, it can intentionally or unintentionally.
  7. Maybe they are busy doing something and by the time they want to respond, the day has passed on by and they may feel like what is the point of responding depending on the question you asked them. To me, it will be polite if they can at least send you a text expressing why they couldn’t respond to you.
  8. If you find that your constantly the one reaching out, express that to the person. If change isn’t made, sometimes, you have to sit back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth fighting for?
  9. If you reach out to them and they don’t respond but then you see them on social media, try not to get upset. Like I mentioned, people choose to respond when they want. You can’t force anyone to get back to you even though it would be the polite thing for them to do.
  10. Sometimes, all you can do is pray for people. Maybe they are going through their own situations and this is the time they don’t have the voice to express their pain, so you have to learn to understand. If you have their address, you can send them a card or leave them a voicemail. They might respond to you later. This is why it’s also key to know the people your dealing with. Know yourself. Know the people you surround yourself with. If you feel like you have tried over and over again and you are drained out, leave it alone and don’t feel bad. If you want to reach out to the person once in while, feel free to do so but don’t have expectations for them to respond when you know their habits.

*Do you find yourself only calling or texting people when your going through something? This may also be a sign for you that maybe that person gets drained out when you only call them when your going through situations. This may be the reason, they are not picking up your phone calls and responding to you during the hours you are asleep. Not everyone is your therapist. Not everyone means well for you. Sometimes, people don’t want to listen to what your going through when they are facing their own battles. When your going through a situation, learn to sit and reflect on your situation before picking up the phone to call someone. It’s so easy for us to call someone to lay our burdens on them but not everyone wants to hear you out. Get yourself a journal. Write your thoughts out. Learn to seek God first when your going through something. Pour your heart out. Lay it at his feet. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t call people. We all go though situation and it’s good to have a shoulder to lean on but we can’t make God our last resort. Sometimes, God can even cause a person not to pick up the phone because he’s trying to teach you to seek him first.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope you can take something away from this post. God bless you. Have a lovely day/week 🙂

Advice To Your Younger Self #2

At the start of this year, I started a project which entailed of me asking people who are much older than me this question “What advice will you give your younger self?” It’s been quite interesting the responses I have received by far. In the month of March, I documented all the responses I received and shared it with you all.  Today, I will be sharing part two (responses with you all from (April – July).

Daphne: 4/16/2017

  1. Trust God
  2. Your beautiful
  3. Value your friendships, family/relationships

 

Kwame: April 19th, 2017

  1. Stay focused
  2. Have more confidence
  3. Think through before making decisions
  4. Don’t compromise

 

Bichelle: April 21st.2017

  1. Follow your instincts
  2. Stick to what you believe
  3. You are beautiful 

 

 Eileen Halsman: 

  • Be selective of the men you chose. (70+ years old)

 

Adaeze: 5/27//2017

  • Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

 

Lindsey: 5/27/2017

  • Get saved 

 

Bamidele (7/22/2017)

-Your dreams will take a longer time to happen but it will happen eventually so you were worried for nothing.

-Dear younger self, next time pick up that call from Jesus earlier. You kept running from all those ladies he sent you in high school. But i am happy I eventually got your attention said Jesus.

-You worry too much about what people think and missed out on a lot because you were afraid you’d offend someone. Next time, let’s start not worrying about what others would say or do. Just be worry what the Lord God thinks.

 

Delali (7/22/2017)

-Save money

-Be consistent

-Listen to my instinct

-If a man says he doesn’t want you, he really means it. Don’t try to change him.

-Mothers are mostly right.

-Follow your passion not what your parents want you to do for them.

 

Mother: (7/24/2017)

  1. Know the Lord earlier
  2. Patience. If you don’t have patience and if someone wants to get to know you, you’ll miss out. Don’t judge before knowing a person. Deep down the person may be the person for you.
  3. To know myself better
  4. Don’t marry someone who is so much older than you. Find someone you can have fun with. When someone is so much older than you, sometimes, there isn’t any chemistry/no relationship between you and the person.

 

Carrie (Waitress) : 7/28/2017

  1. Don’t give up your virginity before marriage. I wish I could have waited.
  2. Don’t take in what people say. Be wise. Don’t be easily deceived. There’s a lot of darkness out there. The heart is deceitful.
  3. Put God first. The best wisdom is from God. Continue to study his word.

 

Advice To Your Younger Self #1

via @ bonnietsang on Instagram:

For the past two months, I’ve been going around asking people who are much older than me this question “What advice will you give to your younger self?” It’s been pretty interesting the responses that I have received. I started this project primarily because I believe that it is very important to learn and takeaway something from other generations.

  1. Diane: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would to travel more. Other than that, I don’t regret anything. I was a Nurse then wanted to become a Mid-wife and I pursued it. (February 11,2017)
  2. Raquel: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say *Don’t get distracted. Don’t allow heartbreak to take control of your emotions. Friends come and go but those who meant to be apart of it, will be. Embrace where you are at in life. Those are the things you will look back at. The things that you see at your darkest will prepare you for the light. Be wise with men, friends, and money. (February 16, 2017): Heart to Soul (Hillsong)
  3. Professor Diamond: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would have to be “go to college right after high school. I took a while before I went to college. At the time, I was working. (February 18, 2017)
  4. Bill L: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would have to be getting a real job after college. I was too busy painting houses. Later on I lived in Japan for some years teaching English. (March 8th,2017)
  5. Professor Amutah: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say, *Stay focused on your goal. Don’t get distracted. Understand that not everyone in your circle is destined for greatness. Some people like to remain in the same level. Surround yourself with supportive people. Be unapologetic about yourself. If you are African, own up to it. Be proud about it. Don’t be embarrassed about your roots. Demand respect from every area of your life. From your friendships, family, your relationship and etc. Don’t downplay your gifts. (One of the favorite professors ever. Team Public Health). (March 21st,2017)
  6. Daddy: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say, stay out of trouble, work hard (be studious), and don’t let anyone discourage you. Strive for success. Respect your elders. Listen to people’s opinions. It’s good to have opposers, that’s how you learn and grow. Be nice to people but also be careful because people take advantage. Be careful the choice of friends you make. Choose your friends wisely. Sometimes, you have to keep to yourself. Don’t open your heart too easily. Be careful what you share with people because you never know what may happen. If you have a fallout, they can share your information. If you have a secret, keep it to yourself. March 31st, 2017 🙂
I hope that as you take the time to read this post, that you can take away something. There’s always something to learn in this life. It’s a journey. We can’t do it alone. God has placed people in our lives for a purpose. Always, remember to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Until next time, stay blessed. Live. Learn & Love. 🙂
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