Lessons Learned (Calling/Texting)

....forgive my yearning to know, to share & understand....  I'm not angry.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that your absence is not about me.         I am on my own.    I have to remind myself that loving you right now, means shutting the fuck up...& blessing you on your own path.         Peace, my love..

We have all at some point in our lives text someone and not received a response. To be honest, this can get annoying after a while and makes us not want to text that person again. Even though this can become frustrating, here are some things I have personally learned about texting that can probably help you in understanding why you shouldn’t give up so quickly on those who don’t text you.

  1. Everyone’s form of communication is different. As much as you might want someone to respond to your text, it is also essential for you to know what communication method works best for that person.
  2. Some people prefer calling than texting and vice versa. For some people, texting requires too much effort so calling them is the way to go.
  3. “I’m not a texting or phone person”. I’m sure you have come in contact with someone who has stated this phrase. It is a lie. This person needs to get it together. If that’s the case why does that person have a phone? In the generation that we are living in, we can’t meet up all the time. We all have things to do. Social media can’t be the way for one to communicate at all times. In this case, you have to find what works for both ends.
  4. Some people think they have responded and in reality they haven’t. Before they realize a week or even a month has passed on by. Maybe the person you are trying to reach is not in the country or have traveled. Not everyone informs people when they are traveling so in that case there’s nothing you can do.
  5. When people are going through their own situations, they don’t want anything to do with anyone. So this could mean no picking up phone calls or answering text messages.
  6. People choose who they want to respond to and when they want to return someone’s text or call. Understand that everyone’s mentality is different. Yes, it can intentionally or unintentionally.
  7. Maybe they are busy doing something and by the time they want to respond, the day has passed on by and they may feel like what is the point of responding depending on the question you asked them. To me, it will be polite if they can at least send you a text expressing why they couldn’t respond to you.
  8. If you find that your constantly the one reaching out, express that to the person. If change isn’t made, sometimes, you have to sit back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth fighting for?
  9. If you reach out to them and they don’t respond but then you see them on social media, try not to get upset. Like I mentioned, people choose to respond when they want. You can’t force anyone to get back to you even though it would be the polite thing for them to do.
  10. Sometimes, all you can do is pray for people. Maybe they are going through their own situations and this is the time they don’t have the voice to express their pain, so you have to learn to understand. If you have their address, you can send them a card or leave them a voicemail. They might respond to you later. This is why it’s also key to know the people your dealing with. Know yourself. Know the people you surround yourself with. If you feel like you have tried over and over again and you are drained out, leave it alone and don’t feel bad. If you want to reach out to the person once in while, feel free to do so but don’t have expectations for them to respond when you know their habits.

*Do you find yourself only calling or texting people when your going through something? This may also be a sign for you that maybe that person gets drained out when you only call them when your going through situations. This may be the reason, they are not picking up your phone calls and responding to you during the hours you are asleep. Not everyone is your therapist. Not everyone means well for you. Sometimes, people don’t want to listen to what your going through when they are facing their own battles. When your going through a situation, learn to sit and reflect on your situation before picking up the phone to call someone. It’s so easy for us to call someone to lay our burdens on them but not everyone wants to hear you out. Get yourself a journal. Write your thoughts out. Learn to seek God first when your going through something. Pour your heart out. Lay it at his feet. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t call people. We all go though situation and it’s good to have a shoulder to lean on but we can’t make God our last resort. Sometimes, God can even cause a person not to pick up the phone because he’s trying to teach you to seek him first.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope you can take something away from this post. God bless you. Have a lovely day/week 🙂

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Advice To Your Younger Self #1

via @ bonnietsang on Instagram:

For the past two months, I’ve been going around asking people who are much older than me this question “What advice will you give to your younger self?” It’s been pretty interesting the responses that I have received. I started this project primarily because I believe that it is very important to learn and takeaway something from other generations.

  1. Diane: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would to travel more. Other than that, I don’t regret anything. I was a Nurse then wanted to become a Mid-wife and I pursued it. (February 11,2017)
  2. Raquel: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say *Don’t get distracted. Don’t allow heartbreak to take control of your emotions. Friends come and go but those who meant to be apart of it, will be. Embrace where you are at in life. Those are the things you will look back at. The things that you see at your darkest will prepare you for the light. Be wise with men, friends, and money. (February 16, 2017): Heart to Soul (Hillsong)
  3. Professor Diamond: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would have to be “go to college right after high school. I took a while before I went to college. At the time, I was working. (February 18, 2017)
  4. Bill L: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would have to be getting a real job after college. I was too busy painting houses. Later on I lived in Japan for some years teaching English. (March 8th,2017)
  5. Professor Amutah: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say, *Stay focused on your goal. Don’t get distracted. Understand that not everyone in your circle is destined for greatness. Some people like to remain in the same level. Surround yourself with supportive people. Be unapologetic about yourself. If you are African, own up to it. Be proud about it. Don’t be embarrassed about your roots. Demand respect from every area of your life. From your friendships, family, your relationship and etc. Don’t downplay your gifts. (One of the favorite professors ever. Team Public Health). (March 21st,2017)
  6. Daddy: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say, stay out of trouble, work hard (be studious), and don’t let anyone discourage you. Strive for success. Respect your elders. Listen to people’s opinions. It’s good to have opposers, that’s how you learn and grow. Be nice to people but also be careful because people take advantage. Be careful the choice of friends you make. Choose your friends wisely. Sometimes, you have to keep to yourself. Don’t open your heart too easily. Be careful what you share with people because you never know what may happen. If you have a fallout, they can share your information. If you have a secret, keep it to yourself. March 31st, 2017 🙂
I hope that as you take the time to read this post, that you can take away something. There’s always something to learn in this life. It’s a journey. We can’t do it alone. God has placed people in our lives for a purpose. Always, remember to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Until next time, stay blessed. Live. Learn & Love. 🙂
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