Lessons Learned (Calling/Texting)

....forgive my yearning to know, to share & understand.... I'm not angry. Sometimes I have to remind myself that your absence is not about me. I am on my own. I have to remind myself that loving you right now, means shutting the fuck up...& blessing you on your own path. Peace, my love..

We have all at some point in our lives text someone and not received a response. To be honest, this can get annoying after a while and makes us not want to text that person again. Even though this can become frustrating, here are some things I have personally learned about texting that can probably help you in understanding why you shouldn’t give up so quickly on those who don’t text you.

  1. Everyone’s form of communication is different. As much as you might want someone to respond to your text, it is also essential for you to know what communication method works best for that person.
  2. Some people prefer calling than texting and vice versa. For some people, texting requires too much effort so calling them is the way to go.
  3. “I’m not a texting or phone person”. I’m sure you have come in contact with someone who has stated this phrase. It is a lie. This person needs to get it together. If that’s the case why does that person have a phone? In the generation that we are living in, we can’t meet up all the time. We all have things to do. Social media can’t be the way for one to communicate at all times. In this case, you have to find what works for both ends.
  4. Some people think they have responded and in reality they haven’t. Before they realize a week or even a month has passed on by. Maybe the person you are trying to reach is not in the country or have traveled. Not everyone informs people when they are traveling so in that case there’s nothing you can do.
  5. When people are going through their own situations, they don’t want anything to do with anyone. So this could mean no picking up phone calls or answering text messages.
  6. People choose who they want to respond to and when they want to return someone’s text or call. Once again, you have to know the individual the friend your dealing with because I believe that it all boils down to priority. People can tell you that they aren’t good with texting or calling but they can spend time on social media. Honestly, I’ve had to address this issue with certain friends in my life. These are habits that can ruin a friendship between good friends. Understand that everyone’s mentality is different. Yes, a person not responding to your call or text can be intentionally or unintentionally.
  7. Maybe they are busy doing something and by the time they want to respond, the day has passed on by and they may feel like what is the point of responding depending on the question you asked them. To me, it will be polite if they can at least send you a text expressing why they couldn’t respond to you.
  8. If you find that your constantly the one reaching out, express that to the person. If change isn’t made, sometimes, you have to sit back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth fighting for?
  9. If you reach out to them and they don’t respond but then you see them on social media, try not to get upset. Like I mentioned, people choose to respond when they want. You can’t force anyone to get back to you even though it would be the polite thing for them to do.
  10. Sometimes, all you can do is pray for people. Maybe they are going through their own situations and this is the time they don’t have the voice to express their pain, so you have to learn to understand. If you have their address, you can send them a card or leave them a voicemail. They might respond to you later. This is why it’s also key to know the people your dealing with. Know yourself. Know the people you surround yourself with. If you feel like you have tried over and over again and you are drained out, leave it alone and don’t feel bad. If you want to reach out to the person once in while, feel free to do so but don’t have expectations for them to respond when you know their habits.

*Do you find yourself only calling or texting people when your going through something? This may also be a sign for you that maybe that person gets drained out when you only call them when your going through situations. This may be the reason, they are not picking up your phone calls. Not everyone is your therapist. Not everyone means well for you. Sometimes, people don’t want to listen to what your going through when they are facing their own battles. When your going through a situation, learn to sit and reflect on your situation before picking up the phone to call someone. It’s so easy for us to call someone to lay our burdens on them but not everyone wants to hear you out. Get yourself a journal. Write your thoughts out. Learn to seek God first when your going through something. Pour your heart out. Lay it at his feet. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t call people. We all go though situation and it’s good to have a shoulder to lean on but we can’t make God our last resort. Sometimes, God can even causes a person not to pick up the phone because he’s trying to teach you to seek him first.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope you can take something away from this post. God bless you. Have a lovely day/week 🙂

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Perspective is Key

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Perspective is Key. Looking back over the years, I can say that I didn’t have this mindset of perspective being key. I’ve grown so much. The trials I faced drew me closer to God. Life isn’t always easy. Some days are tougher than others but I have learned to lean on God. I can definitely say that something that has helped me to reshape my thinking is my relationship with God. I look at situations through a different lens now. There were times when I was going through my own personal situations and when I called my friends, they never got back to me. In those moments are when one begins to question their friendships. It was hard at times and yes there have been many times in my life that I have questioned myself about the people I surround myself with but overtime I learned not to depend solely on people. We are humans and we fail in some way. It breaks my heart to see that there are many people hurting. They have become silent. So what have I learned thus far in this life? I have learned a lot but I’ll list 10 things.

  1. Seek God in all your earthly doing. Study the Bible. Invite the Holy Spirit before you partake in your study.
  2. Perspective is Key. The way you choose to view your circumstances can either shape you or break you.
  3.  Create room in your heart for God in the same way you make room for things.
  4. Be careful of your circle of friends. At the same time, know that there is a Purpose to every encounter. Some people come into our lives for a season or for a lifetime. It’s never a mistake the people we cross paths with in this life.
  5. Prioritize. When something is important to you, you make time for that thing. You don’t make excuses. If you want to have a better relationship with God, you make time to be in his presence. You will make time to read the Bible.
  6. Community of Believers: It’s good to have people in your life that pray for you and want to see you grow in the Lord. If you do not have people in your life but will like to be surrounded with likeminded people, pray about it.
  7. Live: Don’t take life so seriously. There’s a time for everything. Create memories with your family, friends and loved ones.
  8. Spend time with yourself. Get know what you like and don’t like. Go out and explore. Write in your journal. Take pictures. Discover new hobbies.
  9. Prayer is powerful. I’ve heard people say “I don’t know how to pray”. “So and so knows how to pray for long.” Honestly, it’s not about the duration of your prayer but rather your heart and also having the faith that whatever you have prayed for will come to pass. I can say that something that has given me peace is asking God to have his way in everything. If things don’t go as I intended, I’m grateful and I look at it in a different perspective.
  10. Be a blessing unto others: As you forth into the day, there are people that God will allow you to cross paths with. It’s for a Purpose. I don’t believe in coincidences. Take time to compliment someone if you like their hair, clothes and etc. Take time to say hello or good morning when you meet people. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own situations that we become close minded to what is right in front of us. Take time to pray for someone.

“There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don’t yearn to reach out, but because they’ve tried and found no one who cares.” -Richelle E. Goodrich

Until next time, take care of yourself. Stay rooted in the Word. Be Encouraged 🙂

Heart Talks With You

As the year wraps up, its time to reflect. If you can look back in past years, what have you learned thus far? What are some lessons you have mastered? What are you still learning?

1. Letting Go: For so long, I held on and fought for relationships especially friendships with people. It got to a point that I realized that friendship is a two way street not a one way street. If people can’t take the time to reach out to you, remember you on your birthday, or simply take the time for you as you do for them, distance yourself.

2. Communication: Expressing how I feel and where I stand in situations. I am told that I’m strong minded. Yes, I am. I will listen to you and give you my feedback but that doesn’t mean I’m going to partake in every activity your interested in that is negative.

3. Seasons: There is a season for everything. You will go through things in your life and it may seem that no one is there for you because everyone is doing their own thing but that is okay. You will cry, reach out to people and they may never get back to you but you’ll learn. Sometimes, you have to go through it in order for you to learn. It’s part of life. You will grow, live to tell your story. You have to push through every storm. You’ll learn to trust God and seek him in all things.

4. Priority: Learn to prioritize. You don’t have to be everywhere your friends are. Take time for yourself and the things that are important at the moment. Sometimes, we prioritize people who don’t make us a priority in their lives.

5. Friends: Not everyone you meet is your friend. There are associates and friends. Be careful because sometimes you think someone is your friend but they don’t consider you as their friend. They will take advantage of you. You will become the beneficiary in their lives. There are people who care for you. Don’t allow how people treated you in the past to affect how you see people in your life. There’s a season for everything. Not everyone is meant to be apart of your journey. Some people are only meant to be apart of the journey for a season and others a lifetime. Friends come and go. Don’t put your entire energy on a friendship that you can see is not beneficial. Pray for your friends and even those who are no longer friends with you. It takes courage and maturity for this one.

6. Distance: Learn to distance yourself from certain people. Not everyone means well for you. Distance in itself can show you who your friends are. Yes, we outgrow people but some people just change. Some people stop talking to you especially when they meet new people. There’s nothing you can do about it. You just learn where you stand with that person especially if you communicate how you feel and the person still does make an effort to maintain that friendship, do yourself a favor by leaving it alone.

7. God: The best relationship I have had in years. I’ve learned much through experiences and I’m thankful for them all. Drawing near. Studying the word. Attending Bible Study. Simply learning and growing in the Lord has been been amazing.

8. Storms: This too shall pass. We all go through situations. There’s no such thing as a Perfect life. Some people tell their stories out loud and some people bottle it inside. How you choose to heal is different from everyone. Don’t allow your situations to take control of your mind, all God who is in Control to take his place in every one your storms. Light will come.

9. Perspective: This is a test I have passed and I thank God so much. How you choose to view your life/circumstances can either make you or break you. I know that God is in control. If I’m feeling down or don’t understand something I lay it down. I go before Him in prayer. Even in those days, my silence is louder, God is aware. I’m thankful for my friends that are also believers. When I don’t understand something, I ask them on their take on a situation. They always give me Christ based advice.

10. God’s Will is Not My Own: Even when things do not go as intended, I thank God because his hands was in it. Asking God to have his way in my life/situations has helped and changed my life in so many ways. As humans, we always want things done at a time desirable to us but sometimes, it’s not what God intended or wants. He knows best and chooses best. Learn to seek and trust him in all your earthly doings.

From me to you: What have you learned by far in 2016? Feel free to share or even write it in a journal. As you take the time to read mine, I hope you get something out of it. God bless you all. I will be sharing more with you. Take care ✨😊