Lessons Learned (Calling/Texting)

....forgive my yearning to know, to share & understand....  I'm not angry.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that your absence is not about me.         I am on my own.    I have to remind myself that loving you right now, means shutting the fuck up...& blessing you on your own path.         Peace, my love..

We have all at some point in our lives text someone and not received a response. To be honest, this can get annoying after a while and makes us not want to text that person again. Even though this can become frustrating, here are some things I have personally learned about texting that can probably help you in understanding why you shouldn’t give up so quickly on those who don’t text you.

  1. Everyone’s form of communication is different. As much as you might want someone to respond to your text, it is also essential for you to know what communication method works best for that person.
  2. Some people prefer calling than texting and vice versa. For some people, texting requires too much effort so calling them is the way to go.
  3. “I’m not a texting or phone person”. I’m sure you have come in contact with someone who has stated this phrase. It is a lie. This person needs to get it together. If that’s the case why does that person have a phone? In the generation that we are living in, we can’t meet up all the time. We all have things to do. Social media can’t be the way for one to communicate at all times. In this case, you have to find what works for both ends.
  4. Some people think they have responded and in reality they haven’t. Before they realize a week or even a month has passed on by. Maybe the person you are trying to reach is not in the country or have traveled. Not everyone informs people when they are traveling so in that case there’s nothing you can do.
  5. When people are going through their own situations, they don’t want anything to do with anyone. So this could mean no picking up phone calls or answering text messages.
  6. People choose who they want to respond to and when they want to return someone’s text or call. Understand that everyone’s mentality is different. Yes, it can intentionally or unintentionally.
  7. Maybe they are busy doing something and by the time they want to respond, the day has passed on by and they may feel like what is the point of responding depending on the question you asked them. To me, it will be polite if they can at least send you a text expressing why they couldn’t respond to you.
  8. If you find that your constantly the one reaching out, express that to the person. If change isn’t made, sometimes, you have to sit back and evaluate the situation. Is it worth fighting for?
  9. If you reach out to them and they don’t respond but then you see them on social media, try not to get upset. Like I mentioned, people choose to respond when they want. You can’t force anyone to get back to you even though it would be the polite thing for them to do.
  10. Sometimes, all you can do is pray for people. Maybe they are going through their own situations and this is the time they don’t have the voice to express their pain, so you have to learn to understand. If you have their address, you can send them a card or leave them a voicemail. They might respond to you later. This is why it’s also key to know the people your dealing with. Know yourself. Know the people you surround yourself with. If you feel like you have tried over and over again and you are drained out, leave it alone and don’t feel bad. If you want to reach out to the person once in while, feel free to do so but don’t have expectations for them to respond when you know their habits.

*Do you find yourself only calling or texting people when your going through something? This may also be a sign for you that maybe that person gets drained out when you only call them when your going through situations. This may be the reason, they are not picking up your phone calls and responding to you during the hours you are asleep. Not everyone is your therapist. Not everyone means well for you. Sometimes, people don’t want to listen to what your going through when they are facing their own battles. When your going through a situation, learn to sit and reflect on your situation before picking up the phone to call someone. It’s so easy for us to call someone to lay our burdens on them but not everyone wants to hear you out. Get yourself a journal. Write your thoughts out. Learn to seek God first when your going through something. Pour your heart out. Lay it at his feet. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t call people. We all go though situation and it’s good to have a shoulder to lean on but we can’t make God our last resort. Sometimes, God can even cause a person not to pick up the phone because he’s trying to teach you to seek him first.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope you can take something away from this post. God bless you. Have a lovely day/week ๐Ÿ™‚

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Sobi's Mystic
You, Me And The Guys
Gateman
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Intervention
Tiwa's Baggage
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North East
A Northern Affair
Beautiful Ruins
If Tomorrow Never Comes
30 Years A Virgin
Meet The In-Laws
3 Is A Crowd

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Miscellaneous
Moth To A Flame
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On Bended Knees
Finding Mercy

Things I’ve Learned In 23 Years

  1. Life is a journey. You live and you learn.
  2. Write in your journal more often.
  3. Learn to spend with yourself. You don’t have to go everywhere with someone just because they send you a text asking if you can go somewhere with them.
  4. Time is an essence. A precious gift, you can never get back.
  5. Your friend’s (friends) aren’t necessarily your friends.
  6. Seek God in all your earthly doings. Cultivate a relationship with God. Sweet oh Jesus.
  7. Know your worth. Don’t settle for anything. (You are an asset. Know what you bring to the table. You are an addition to someone’s life, not a subtraction. If they don’t appreciate you, that’s their problem. “Sister’s Advice to Me”
  8. Understand that some friends are in your life for a season. People grow apart and though it’s painful, such is life.
  9. Don’t be afraid to venture out to try new things. Get out of your comfort zone.
  10. Spend time with your family. Create memories with them. Take lots of pictures & Record videos with them. Interview your parents. Ask them about their childhood/advice they would give to their younger self. It’s been amazing doing this so trust me, make the most out of it. Like my mom/dad says “Life is too short”. We are alive by God’s grace so make the most out of each day you are granted ๐Ÿ™‚
  11. Waking up in the morning is a gift/testimony despite how you are feeling. Someone didn’t wake up. Be grateful.
  12. Every trial that we face in this lifetime serves as a purpose. Though we may not understand every situation, there is always a lesson if we pay attention.
  13. Be careful who you share your information with. Not everyone has a good interest at heart.
  14. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh often.
  15. Don’t give people the power over you.
  16. Continue being yourself. Kind you are. Caring you are. Never change who you are because of how people have treated you.
  17. Save your money. This is not something that was difficult for me because I love to save but it may be a reminder to someone else.
  18. Speak life into your situation. Pray about everything. I mean everything. Get in the position where you can pray at all times. God is listening. He is closer than you think.
  19. Prioritize. If people don’t prioritize you, you don’t have to do the same for them.
  20. Don’t stress over things. Things will eventually work out for you. God has your back.
  21. Read books. Never stop educating yourself outside of the classroom.
  22. Stay Focused On Your Goals. Don’t make excuses because time surely flies and before you know it, all that you had set for yourself has not been accomplished.
  23. Embrace the season your’e in. Nothing is permanent. Continue to live, love, learn. Be your authentic self ๐Ÿ™‚

Cheers to what lies ahead of us all. Have a lovely day ๐Ÿ™‚ xoxo

Advice To Your Younger Self #1

via @ bonnietsang on Instagram:

For the past two months, I’ve been going around asking people who are much older than me this question “What advice will you give to your younger self?” It’s been pretty interesting the responses that I have received. I started this project primarily because I believe that it is very important to learn and takeaway something from other generations.

  1. Diane: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would to travel more. Other than that, I don’t regret anything. I was a Nurse then wanted to become a Mid-wife and I pursued it. (February 11,2017)
  2. Raquel: If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say *Don’t get distracted. Don’t allow heartbreak to take control of your emotions. Friends come and go but those who meant to be apart of it, will be. Embrace where you are at in life. Those are the things you will look back at. The things that you see at your darkest will prepare you for the light. Be wise with men, friends, and money. (February 16, 2017): Heart to Soul (Hillsong)
  3. Professor Diamond: If I can give my younger self an advice, it would have to be “go to college right after high school. I took a while before I went to college. At the time, I was working. (February 18, 2017)
  4. Bill L:ย If I can give my younger self an advice, it would have to be getting a real job after college. I was too busy painting houses. Later on I lived in Japan for some years teaching English. (March 8th,2017)
  5. Professor Amutah:ย If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say, *Stay focused on your goal. Don’t get distracted. Understand that not everyone in your circle is destined for greatness. Some people like to remain in the same level. Surround yourself with supportive people. Be unapologetic about yourself. If you are African, own up to it. Be proud about it. Don’t be embarrassed about your roots. Demand respect from every area of your life. From your friendships, family, your relationship and etc. Don’t downplay your gifts. (One of the favorite professors ever. Team Public Health). (March 21st,2017)
  6. Daddy:ย If I can give my younger self an advice, I would have to say, stay out of trouble, work hard (be studious), and don’t let anyone discourage you. Strive for success. Respect your elders. Listen to people’s opinions. It’s good to have opposers, that’s how you learn and grow. Be nice to people but also be careful because people take advantage. Be careful the choice of friends you make. Choose your friends wisely. Sometimes, you have to keep to yourself. Don’t open your heart too easily. Be careful what you share with people because you never know what may happen. If you have a fallout, they can share your information. If you have a secret, keep it to yourself. March 31st, 2017 ๐Ÿ™‚
I hope that as you take the time to read this post, that you can take away something. There’s always something to learn in this life. It’s a journey. We can’t do it alone. God has placed people in our lives for a purpose. Always, remember to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Until next time, stay blessed. Live. Learn & Love. ๐Ÿ™‚
Grow through what you go through...:

Perspective is Key

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Perspective is Key. Looking back over the years, I can say that I didn’t have this mindset of perspective being key. I’ve grown so much. The trials I faced drew me closer to God. Life isn’t always easy. Some days are tougher than others but I have learned to lean on God. I can definitely say that something that has helped me to reshape my thinking is my relationship with God. I look at situations through a different lens now. There were times when I was going through my own personal situations and when I called my friends, they never got back to me. In those moments are when one begins to question their friendships. It was hard at times and yes there have been many times in my life that I have questioned myself about the people I surround myself with but overtime I learned not to depend solely on people. We are humans and we fail in some way. It breaks my heart to see that there are many people hurting. They have become silent. So what have I learned thus far in this life? I have learned a lot but I’ll list 10 things.

  1. Seek God in all your earthly doing. Study the Bible. Invite the Holy Spirit before you partake in your study.
  2. Perspective is Key. The way you choose to view your circumstances can either shape you or break you.
  3. ย Create room in your heart for God in the same way you make room for things.
  4. Be careful of your circle of friends. At the same time, know that there is a Purpose to every encounter. Some people come into our lives for a season or for a lifetime. It’s never a mistake the people we cross paths with in this life.
  5. Prioritize. When something is important to you, you make time for that thing. You don’t make excuses. If you want to have a better relationship with God, you make time to be in his presence. You will make time to read the Bible.
  6. Community of Believers: It’s good to have people in your life that pray for you and want to see you grow in the Lord. If you do not have people in your life but will like to be surrounded with likeminded people, pray about it.
  7. Live: Don’t take life so seriously. There’s a time for everything. Create memories with your family, friends and loved ones.
  8. Spend time with yourself. Get know what you like and don’t like. Go out and explore. Write in your journal. Take pictures. Discover new hobbies.
  9. Prayer is powerful. I’ve heard people say “I don’t know how to pray”. “So and so knows how to pray for long.” Honestly, it’s not about the duration of your prayer but rather your heart and also having the faith that whatever you have prayed for will come to pass. I can say that something that has given me peace is asking God to have his way in everything. If things don’t go as I intended, I’m grateful and I look at it in a different perspective.
  10. Be a blessing unto others: As you forth into the day, there are people that God will allow you to cross paths with. It’s for a Purpose. I don’t believe in coincidences. Take time to compliment someone if you like their hair, clothes and etc. Take time to say hello or good morning when you meet people. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own situations that we become close minded to what is right in front of us. Take time to pray for someone.

โ€œThere are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don’t yearn to reach out, but because they’ve tried and found no one who cares.โ€ -Richelle E. Goodrich

Until next time, take care of yourself. Stay rooted in the Word. Be Encouraged ๐Ÿ™‚